If the logic is flawed, chances are the argument will follow suit.  The worst part of being on the losing side of the argument is that moment when it becomes clear that you have actually lost.  In other words, you were fallacious.  Practicing unsound judgment can lead to many things, but most swiftly to a bruised ego.

Arguments are a funny of breed of conversation.  They are the special warfare operators of the english language.  You could be having a routine conversation, perhaps even a meaningful conversation, and then without any effort on your part, you are dead in the midst of an argument.  All you need is some fortuitous set of circumstances: a misspoken word, an untimely remark, or even something more innocuous like an eye roll.  Before the words can even leave your lips, the argument has begun.

Let’s examine this in a little more depth… In any argument, as in any battle, there is a protagonist and an antagonist.  The former is putting forth their best verbiage, and the latter is countering with their best.  Typically, the opening salvo from both sides tends to be a warning shot across the bow of the other.  ”Do not engage in any more conversation with me on this matter because I will prevail.”  This back and forth goes on for a little bit until one side introduces the heavy artillery and brings to light a claim so momentous that the other side is simply stopped in their tracks and has to acknowledge the weighty-ness of the new information.  As with all clandestine skirmishes, the battle does not ensue for long because the cat is out of the bag, so to speak.  There really is only one response to this clandestine warrior, hope.

Hope that your logic triumphs…

Hope that you don’t make it worse by saying something idiotic…

Hope that the other person doesn’t realize you have no argument…

Hope that it ends swiftly… (and in your favor, but let’s not put the cart before the horse)

The amazing thing about arguments is that men and women argue in different ways… It has taken many, many years, and many, many arguments to come to this realization.  The simple fact is, men argue to win, and women argue to get their point across (and that is more powerful in the end than just winning).

If you stop and think about it for a minute…

Germany invaded Poland and started WWII… strip all of that away, and it boils down to a man wanting to win an argument by using force as his logic (this is a gross over-simplification, but the point is still there).

Put a woman in that same situation and the argument would have been more diplomatic perhaps?  Again, a gross over-simplification, but the fact still remains that more conversation would have been had first.

Arguments with my wife made me realize the inherent differences between the sexes.  Arguments are not for faint of the heart either.  An argument between a boyfriend and girlfriend is tame compared to one between a married couple.  The former is full of hope because both sides usually want to resolve the conflict and the overwhelming fantasy of love transcends all words and ladles heaping amounts of sanity on both sides, thus peacefully ending the discord.  The later on the other hand is an all out, ugly, take no prisoners affront to basic human decency.  The husband fights to win, while the wife fights to be heard.  The collateral damage will be sorted out later, the title of winner is at stake.

Now, the beauty of this whole messy saga is that no amount of love can make this go away.  If one side opts to waive the white flag and apologize, the other side will have to have the last word and that will be the ember that helps burn down the forest.  On the other hand, if the conflict continues, the situation goes from Operation Enduring Freedom to Blackhawk Down in a hurry.  The words will be slung with reckless abandon, the bile and emotional hatred will be channeled into watching the demise of the opponent.  As the minutes tick away, the language will become more raw, the emotions more visible, the logic more flimsy, the fallacy more epic… until… SILENCE!

This is the first chance that both sides have had to regroup, assess the damage, address the casualties (aka feed the children, pets, bathroom breaks, etc.), reformulate the attack… Perhaps going for the jugular is not working as hoped, so switch gears and setup a beachhead just off to the side (aka introduce random and unrelated facts into the argument that are really irrelevant, but they will suffice for a weak position) and attack from there.  If that tactic doesn’t work, go insurgent (aka introduce completely asinine information that will throw off the opponent).  The hope there being that they will be so taken aback by your brazen stupidity that it will overload their brain and force them to stop talking momentarily for you to falsely reassure yourself that you are winning.

By this point, the argument has morphed into a completely unrecognizable waste of time.  If it has gotten to this point, both sides need to agree to an armistice and establish the 38th parallel (aka Korea… one time an actual conflict, now just an excuse to get mediocre consumer electronics from south and make fun of Kim Jong Il’s hair in the north).

Let’s face it, you lost!

Just accept the fact that she’s right…

Keep your mouth shut…

Hope that she still wants to be in the same room as you…

Do not make an amateur mistake by telling her she is beautiful when she is mad…

Let history be your guide… it worked out pretty well for the Germans!

In this daily rat race, we often forget to take the time to relax, to enjoy our environs, to react to one another in a cordial way…

The old adage goes, “time heals all wounds”

Does it?

Does it actually do that? Or is it simply dulling the senses and muting the pain that memories bubble up to the surface?

In G.I. Jane, the candidates were told,

“Pain is your ally!  Pain is what tells you that you’re still alive. It tells you to get the job done and bring your asses home!” ~ Command Master Chief John James Urgayle, USN

What most people do not realize is that time is not just changing the circumstances, it is evolving.  Let me clarify, it is not time itself that is evolving (for time cannot change as it is a constant), but the landscape that time is working on is evolving.

For instance, if one gets hurt, as time passes the pain lessens.  The memory may still be intact, but the severity of the pain is mitigated.  The circumstances evolve to a point where the hurt may not completely go away, but it is not prevalent on a day to day basis.

Now, repeated hurt may simply exacerbate the pain, but the passage of time will minimize that hurt.

The application to a tangible, like hurt, can connect the dots for most people, but what if this same thinking is applied to an intangible, like a lie for instance.

Does time evolve with the lie, or does the lie evolve with time?

Does the lie surmount the truth, or does the truth become so inconsequential that it simply does not matter?

Can this be applied to a person? Does a person become so inconsequential that he or she simply does not matter over time?

Does the evolution of time ingratiate the individual, or does it make that individual obsolete? A relic?

All of this is very cerebral, but it does help to put 5 things into perspective:

1. Time passes, with or without our consent

2. The fiction evolves with time and stands the chance of becoming the fact

3. The hurt does mitigate, but is it truly forgotten?

4. Never underestimate the passage of time and it’s effects on the landscape of perception

And finally…

5. Whoever came up with the notion of perception being reality probably never heard of M-Theory.

A very wise person once told me that I should wipe the problems off my shoulders every time I cross the threshold of the front door, and focus on the positive…

Well, I married that person!

Through the wonders of modern technology, I can transport myself back to all of the good times and realize that time does evolve… It evolves in the way you want it to, but only if you are there to realize it!

Thanks honey, I’m trying…

There exists a dichotomy in the human mind, a clash between conscious and unconscious… between will and force, between what’s right and what is not.

It’s been a long time since I have exorcised my demons and longer still since I have known a rancor as deep as I feel currently.  The hardest part of it is not trying to get through the day without letting it consume me, but trying to accept the fact that human kind cannot move past smiting one another with calumny.  In the world of jurisprudence, it is referred to as the adversarial system.  The system is based on the fact that multiple accounts of a tale will yield the truth, or some rendition of the truth… Sadly, modernity has perverted it into meaning, it’s not what is true, but what you can prove.  In absence of the proof, the bolder and more believable the lie (depending on the teller and the audience), the more it takes the place of the truth/proof.

What happens when a lie is perpetrated by an individual(s), fed up the food chain, backed up with anorexic, circumstantial fact (fiction) and then placed on display under the auspices of general consensus?  What then? What if this lie is so profound and encompassing that the recipient does not even want to deal with it, or better yet, becomes indifferent to it?  What then?

Does this mean it is true?

Is the recipient apathetic to it?

Is it a difference of opinion?

Does is vindicate the perpetrators of said lie?

Does is villainies  the recipient?

Or is it a dichotomy of fact from fiction?

The old saying goes, “Everyone has their day in court”… or, “The truth will eventually come out”…

Or, does silence equal a plea of nolo contendere?

In the absence of light there is dark, but as we all know, the dark is hiding in plain sight… I will part on this thought…

Does knowing the truth and abiding by it overcome the slander and official record, or does it simply become a dichotomy of perception?

With that said, I am preparing for the second phase of my journey with phase one almost in the record books. It has taken eight weeks, but hopefully the preparations have been worth it. Now, only time will tell if all of the preparations have prepared me for the onslaught, or if I will have to revisit the preparations and hope no one notices.

Cover me, I’m going in…

My new companion however has changed that a little for me.  Anxiety has me nervous, has me wondering if the new folks are going to think I am inept, or worst of all, a terrible manager.  Damn you anxiety!

I will say this, one of the founding tenets of the Marine Corps has been “improvise, adapt and overcome!”  This has been a motto of mine for quite some time.  Even with my new friend in tow, I plan to improvise, adapt and overcome!

Anxiety… just say no!

Well, Tide does get the stains out… The stains of years of finishing in the almost category…Almost champions, almost made it to the big show, almost had the makings of a perfect harmony between defense and offense, almost had the perfect season!

The moon controls the tidal forces and the natural ebb and flow of the liquid that occupies almost 70% of our planet.  In a similar fashion Nick Saban controls the ebb and flow of the game, from the taking of the field to the final whistle marking the conclusion of 4 quarters of football.  Yes, Nick Saban is the moon that is carefully orchestrating this Tide.

The old adage of the “tide will turn” is one used time and again when referring to misfortune becoming fortune or vice versa.  Well, the almost perfect 2008 season became the perfect 2009 season.

Tuscaloosa, Alabama is going to be humming with activity in a matter of a few weeks and that hum will grow more and more deafening over the course of the next thirteen weeks culminating in quite possibly another visit to the Holy Grail of college football, The BCS Championship Game!

I have been a college football fan for well over a decade now, but never really placed commodity on one team over another.  I have just enjoyed the game regardless of who is playing, but that all changed for me during the 2008 season.  The passion and enthusiasm of a girl from the deep south narrowed my field of view and focussed it on the red and white of the big “A”…  So much so, that for the first time in my life, I am actually going to brand my car!

In the end, this is going to be an amazing season, regardless of the outcome, but even more so because that girl from the deep south just happens to be my new wife!  Oh, and did I mention… ROLL TIDE!

I still cannot pin point what is happening. I think I am okay (not really okay, but coping) with what happened, but I find myself relapsing from time to time.  The relapses are growing farther and farther apart, so that must be an encouraging sign… is it?

The one thing that I keep coming back to is that the person who I fell on my sword for is the reason that I feel like this.  I am not a depressed person by nature, but I feel helpless somedays.  I feel like a shell of the person that I once was.  I guess having your heart ripped out and your dreams crushed within a span of 12 months will do that to a person.

Many people have suggested that I talk to someone about it, someone who is a professional listener.  Hubris prevents me from doing that, for if I do, I will put a face to the problem and let’s face it, I do not have a problem!  I am superman, I solve everyone else’s problems, I do not have problems!

When am I going to move past this.  How is it that time heals all manner of bullshit, but for me time is making this harder and harder?

Rancor, it’s not just the monster that Luke Skywalker was stuck in a pit with, it’s a fire-breathing, life sucking, ass-kicking beast that does not know when to quit!

Just in our galaxy!  We are but a spec of dust in the calculus of space.  There are billions upon billions upon billions of galaxies… and only a minute portion of those are even known (and just recently too!) to us.  The one thing that Monta said that stood out for me was that we on Earth take for granted the sheer immenseness of the world we don’t know… Many cannot comprehend it, so to them it must not be real!

I have always respected him, but today that respect went to another level.  This kid, comes in to work for four odd hours a day, a few times a week, went through culinary school, and has been an amateur astronomer his whole life.  The people that employ him (excluding myself) think he is just a t-shirt folder, but what they do not know is that they are in the presence of quite possibly the next Carl Sagan…  Well, Monta has to get over his fear of math before he starts rationalizing astrophysics in layman terms, but I digress.

Talking to him today made me realize the function that I perform at this place.  I am there to keep these kids happy, focussed on what is important (their dreams), and to show them that what they think matters (no matter how trivial they may think it is).  They in turn keep that fire burning in me (when j is not around) to chase my own dreams, because at the end of the day we may be surrounded by jeans and t-shirts, but we are all intrinsically linked to our universe…

So, The History Channel had this series called, “America, The Story of Us.”  This series is incredible.  It basically encapsulated 250+ years of history into a series of about 10 episodes.  With modern CG and a quick narrative, it was very entertaining.  I love watching anything to do with history and this was probably one of the best shows I have ever seen that truly captured the drama that is our rich history.  I highly recommend that if you get a chance to watch it, you should.

It is my understanding that it is available on iTunes.

Our day began bright and early this morning… Ok, it was not bright, but it was pretty early… 0230 hrs! We were on our way to drop the car off at the parking lot and then catch a shuttle to the terminal.

I have to say that I have flown southwest a few times and I have really come to like this airline… The crew keeps it light hearted and fun. The planes are always super clean and seats are comfortable. I’m currently writing this onboard, flying 37000 feet above the ground on our way to BHM!

I can’t wait to marry this girl!